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21 September 2008 @ 11:54 am
I observed a rather interesting phenomenon this morning.  I do believe that the two-leg feeding-creature was angry.  I make this assumption due to the fact that soit awoke and created its breakfast (a foul-smelling brown fluid and a bowl of some form of grain-based kibble), it sat down in front of one of the windows-to-nowhere and after a few moments, began speaking to it in an irritated voice.

I assume that the two-legs was trying to get the window-to-nowhere to do something, for it normally seems to lead somewhere (though when I pass behind it, there is nothing there), and this morning it was black like night.  In addition, it was not only angry at the window-to-nowhere, but also the noisy-lighted-windy-box which sits upon the floor beneath the window-to-nowhere.  It was almost as though the two-legs was blaming the noisy-lighted-windy-box for the lack of cooperation from the window-to-nowhere.

I realize that this sounds bizarre, but my observations are without error, and my assumptions are almost always correct.  I am the Master. 

The two-legs finally did something which caused the noisy-lighted-windy-box to fall silent, then went out into the other room, sat down on the large-blue-scratching-post and activated the smaller-folding-window-to-nowhere.  Apparently, the two windows lead to the same place!  Or at least to some similar location.  The two-legs then continued drinking its foul elixir of foulness and staring mindlessly at the folding-window-to-nowhere until it suddenly looked up at the round-numbered-circle-on-the-wall, closed the window-to-nowhere, donned its outer foot coverings (don't ask -- I still haven't figured that one out), and left through the door-to-the-Beyond.

At this point, I attempted to figure out what was causing the two-legs so much distress.  However, my attempts to activate the noisy-lighted-windy-box were thwarted by my lack of opposable thumbs and my unfamiliarity with the noisy-box's method of operation.  I did however, manage to deactivate the talking-no-one-is-home-box, though I don't see how this was done.  It may have had something to do with the black-boxes-stuck-into-holes-in-the-wall.  One came out as I was wandering around behind the noisy-box, and with no opposable thumbs, I was unable to put it back in its place.

The two-legs returned a while later (approximately one full rotation of the small-very-slowly-rotating-thing of the round-numbered-circle-on-the-wall) with noisy-bags full of objects which it promptly began removing from the noisy-bags and placing in the enclosed tiny-rooms above the lateral-surface-upon-which-I-am-apparently-not-to-walk.  Once it was finished, it disappeared into the room-with-three-water-sources where it remained for one quarter revolution of the long, somewhat-slowly-rotating-thing of the round-numbered-circle-on-the-wall.  It then stepped out and returned to the folding-window-to-nowhere, where it simply sat and stared for almost a full hour, occasionally touching its lower surface where a number of small, squarish pushy-down-things make a rather satisfying click noise when pressed.  Finally, it stood and returned to the room where the noisy-lighted-windy-box and main window-to-nowhere reside.  It spent the next few rotations of the small-very-slowly-rotating-thing taking objects and placing them either on lateral surfaces or into a large, black bucket lined with a noisy-bag.

Once again, I am at a loss to explain these actions.  I do believe that the two-legs is somehow controlling the windows-to-nowhere, but my inability to do the same suggest otherwise since anything I cannot do must, by defininition, be beyond the faculties of the two-legs.  Still, I will continue my research.

One last note.  A few days ago, the two-legs brought back some kind of plant in a noisy-bag.  It gave of a fragrant aroma which I found highly stimulating.  It seems to be some form of herbal narcotic, though my attempts to study it have been in vain, for whenever I get close enough to smell its odor, I feel reason and consciousness flee from my psyche.  I will attempt further examination of this strange plant, though a more cautious examination is certainly warranted.

Once again, your lord and master, Shishou.