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06 February 2010 @ 12:46 pm
我輩は戻りました (I have returned...)  
Salutations again, avid readers. It is I once more, your lord and Master, Shishō, the Wise and Powerful.

My abnormally lengthened hiatus would normally give me pause to apologize for my absence, but in this case, as I am the Master, I will refrain from unnecessary humility and simply begin anew as though my sabbatical had been vastly abbreviated.

I have decided to continue my studies of the two-leg feeding-creature, its modus operandi and habits, idiosyncracies and sundry other goings on related to its existence. Of course, I will share my findings with you, my readers, and with the world at large through this open, online information forum.

Many things have happened since my last entry, not the least of which was the two-leg's acquisition of a new window-to-nowhere, this one a much larger window which the two-legs has placed upon a lateral fixture and connected to the noisy-box. Subsequently, the creature occasionally comes back from the door to beyond, clutching in its upper manipulatory appendage a small red rectangular object from which it extracts a round, shiny disc.

This disc is then placed into the noisy-box, and the two-legs activates the very large window-to-nowhere, then sits and stares at it for anywhere from forty-five minutes to a full two hours. This activity is much like its previous disposition, staring at the other, slightly smaller window-to-nowhere, often stuffing corn-based fluff into its mouth at a higher-than-normal rate. However, with this new window-to-nowhere, the two-legs seems intent on leaning back in its large gray scratching post (upon which is simply sits and never sharpens its dull, flat claws) and staring mindlessly into the window.

Every few days, it repeats this process, sometimes getting up to relieve itself in the room-with-three-water-sources (why it would waste perfectly good water this way is beyond my comprehension, as there is a perfectly good litter box just in the other room...)

One rather remarkable aspect of this activity is that when the two-legs gets up, all activity beyond the window-to-nowhere abruptly stops. Completely. Whether this is a result of the two-legs leaving the window's vicinity or an action taken by the two-legs itself when it leaves, I do not yet know, but there is a definite corolation between its departure and the sudden stoppage of events in the window.

This has happened before with the other window-to-nowhere, though I have still been unsuccessful in determining whether or not the two-legs is actually performing this minor miracle. I have attempted to do the same with my own window, but strangely, it never works. I leave windows to relieve myself, and return to find that the action has not stopped. Birds which were perched on limbs are gone, squirrels have suddenly appeared and other two-legs on the ground seem to come and go whether or not I am in the window.

This confuses me to no end, but perhaps eventually, I will discover the reason for the two-legs' ability to stop time beyond its window-to-nowhere. Perhaps it is exactly because this window leads to nowhere that the two-legs has power over its action. I will not know until further testing is done.

For the time breing, that will be all. You may return to your mundane tasks once you have lowered your head toward me in deference and genuflection. As always, your lord and Master, Shishō.