Log in

18 May 2009 @ 10:50 am

こんいちわ、dear readers, once again, it is I, your humble and gracious Master.

I saw today, the two-leg feeding-creature utilizing the window-to-nowhere to update his Livejournal with more of his two-leg nonsense. Of course, all two-leg sense is nonsense, so the phrase is redundant.

I have not posted in some time due to a series of intensive training procedures I have placed upon myself. My training is not just for combat, but for use in everyday life as well. For instance, should I be traveling and I am approached by a thief or murderer, I shall simply rip his arm off. If I happen to meet a politician or lawyer, I shall simply rip his arm off. Should I happen across a dog or other undesirable creature designed by a backward god intent on fashioning a universe of vile grotesqueries in which cats are not worshiped as gods... Well, I shall be forced to apply a variation on a theme, as dogs are without arms.

In any event, my training has consisted mainly of sharpening my claws and gnawing on the two-legs' arm in order to strengthen my jaw muscles so when the time comes, I shall be both able and willing to do bodily harm to the aforementioned grotesqueries which have evolved since the Egyptians placed we felines on pedestals of gold.

Ah, it would seem that I am out of time, for the two-legs is preparing food and drink. I think I shall stand at its feet and see if I can cause it to fall, spilling its drink upon the floor. We shall see what success I derive from this feat. Until we meet again...